Post by SirCabbage on Jun 8, 2005 5:58:32 GMT -5
Finally the secound term is comming to a close and soon I will finally be able to calm down... Peace, For the first week were going upto the islands, No bursting up there...
When I go this long of constant annoyance I am easyer to be pissed off, I just need some time to think it out and I should be fine, but I know this is not the case...
If I keep compressing my anger, I, well yeah. But I have more important things to think about, I feel so sorry for Ashley and I want to help her, but I know I cant, alone. Whenever I got to talk to my Friend about it, Hes Generally Talking to his Girl Friend, Bah, Now he always takes her side, its stupid...
Heh Ashley, Odd I did have a crush on a girl called Ashley once, I just dont know how I feel about this Ashley, I think im just caring about her, feeling sorry for her, wanting and wishing to help her, But another side of my mind is saying something else... Yeah well, I know I should try to help myself but I cant, I may be strong, But I cant help myself, so I must help someone who has it worse, I just want to help her but I cant, I need to get some money... I joked around with my friend today asking how much a one way ticket from america would cost, but im starting to think my sub consus wants something else, I just dont want anything to happen to her...
God there I go, Leaping me to her to me, They are the two things I cant get out of my head, Her and Me, They are equal, constanly changing sides, mainly to Ashley...
What can I do, Heh it seems im trying to council myself here, I dont even know if I should post this, Now im just rambling Probly realsing to much info to the world, maybe I should get a password too, but no...
So often I have been cracking recently my stress is though the roof, yet when im talking to her, it all seems fine, all my anger goes away for some reason...
How long have I been doing this for... Typing, I should stop, but I just Cant, I want to help me and her, but its so hard, I love her...
Wait, how, why, did that just come out... I cant belive it, I almost hope she doesnt read this post... Or do I, I dont know, I have no idea, Or do I, Such Insignificant events lead to this moment in time, Its so weird... I dont know If I really feel like that do I? Really? I have no idea, maybe its just my anger and sadness talking, or maybe its something more...
Long ago when I was first teased I had no way to cope with this, constant teasing, I cryed ever time it happened, but soon I tought myself to channel it into another emotion anger...
At first this worked fine, a hidden death wish there, A growl here, But soon it got to hard to handel and I burst, Its been like that ever since, constantly bursting with anger and going into sorrow after...
And I cant seem to find any other way! I cant revert to my crying and I need a new branch, a new idea of coping... anyway here it goes...
Im going to press post...
Soon...
Ok...
Now...
When I go this long of constant annoyance I am easyer to be pissed off, I just need some time to think it out and I should be fine, but I know this is not the case...
If I keep compressing my anger, I, well yeah. But I have more important things to think about, I feel so sorry for Ashley and I want to help her, but I know I cant, alone. Whenever I got to talk to my Friend about it, Hes Generally Talking to his Girl Friend, Bah, Now he always takes her side, its stupid...
Heh Ashley, Odd I did have a crush on a girl called Ashley once, I just dont know how I feel about this Ashley, I think im just caring about her, feeling sorry for her, wanting and wishing to help her, But another side of my mind is saying something else... Yeah well, I know I should try to help myself but I cant, I may be strong, But I cant help myself, so I must help someone who has it worse, I just want to help her but I cant, I need to get some money... I joked around with my friend today asking how much a one way ticket from america would cost, but im starting to think my sub consus wants something else, I just dont want anything to happen to her...
God there I go, Leaping me to her to me, They are the two things I cant get out of my head, Her and Me, They are equal, constanly changing sides, mainly to Ashley...
What can I do, Heh it seems im trying to council myself here, I dont even know if I should post this, Now im just rambling Probly realsing to much info to the world, maybe I should get a password too, but no...
So often I have been cracking recently my stress is though the roof, yet when im talking to her, it all seems fine, all my anger goes away for some reason...
How long have I been doing this for... Typing, I should stop, but I just Cant, I want to help me and her, but its so hard, I love her...
Wait, how, why, did that just come out... I cant belive it, I almost hope she doesnt read this post... Or do I, I dont know, I have no idea, Or do I, Such Insignificant events lead to this moment in time, Its so weird... I dont know If I really feel like that do I? Really? I have no idea, maybe its just my anger and sadness talking, or maybe its something more...
Long ago when I was first teased I had no way to cope with this, constant teasing, I cryed ever time it happened, but soon I tought myself to channel it into another emotion anger...
At first this worked fine, a hidden death wish there, A growl here, But soon it got to hard to handel and I burst, Its been like that ever since, constantly bursting with anger and going into sorrow after...
And I cant seem to find any other way! I cant revert to my crying and I need a new branch, a new idea of coping... anyway here it goes...
Im going to press post...
Soon...
Ok...
Now...